August 17, 2006

My New Year’s resolution. It is kind of how this recent journey began. The search for authenticity. I resolve to be authentic in every capacity of my life. I look back on my artificiality and laugh at myself, not in a self depreciating manner, but how we laugh with our children, while learning how to walk they fall clumsily on their diapered bottoms. I have fallen again, been articficial, fake it to make it, good Christian who doesn’t mention it when something is out of balance. I am broken and unfixable except by Jesus. I don’t want to turn this into a confessional, but do want to confess, I am a sinner and I fail every day. And I don’t want to. I feel like the only way I would be able to make it through a day without sinning is if I were in a coma…and that is not a good solution. I am overwhelmed by that fact that I can not do better, sin less, covet less. I do not want to be overwhelmed, I want to be pure.

love you,


One comment

  1. I love the quote that Beth Moore has that we are not called to perfection, but to holiness.

    Holiness: completeness, growing up into maturity, set apart, consecrated, equipped

    Be authentically “holy”. Nobody wants a sidebar items called “holiness”, we are so scared of the word…so we choose “authenticity” instead. I think you can be an authentic jerk and be dead wrong. But, you cannot go wrong in the pursuit of holiness.

    Jesus only condemned those who were not authentic, though. The disguised. I think I know what your heart is. I just like messing with the words to help explain my goals to myself better…hope you don’t mind.


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